I don’t understand why you are so mad? I get that maybe it wasn’t the best timing for me to say that. I have been wanting to tell you for so long. Just because I never came out and said “I love you” doesn’t mean that you didn’t know. Because I know you did. And you know did too. Maybe it’s pathetic and sad of to think that I could come home and show you and tell you all of things I have done to better myself. To better myself for you. I just wanted to make you proud of me. And I don’t want to say that it is wrong for me to say how much I miss you, your smell and how skin feels and or voice even. It’s not wrong. You need to see yourself from my eyes and realize how scary and beautiful and how wonderful you are. I really don’t want you to be mad or hate me. I just want you to be happy, and I think that one day I can do that. I am never going to not want you. I’m not mad, I can never actually be mad at you. No matter how many stupid tears I cry or how stupid or embarrassed I feel right now.
I think that maybe you love me too, and you’re mad because you never said anything either. You can’t blame this all on me though, because there is more than just myself in this situation. And you can continue to say that you have no emotions but you do. It’s horrible, but I guess you can now have the satisfaction of hurting someone instead of yourself this time.